Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The links are finally available

so here they are, those promised links to those articles I loved:

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Recent Ponderings

At the end of February I totaled up the amount of time I had spent away from home. The mental calculation led me to realize that I had spent a massive amount of time away from Saratoga Springs, throughout 3 months. In fact, December had a markedly high time away than the other months. My reasoning that month was that the holidays were upon me and I wanted to spend that time with my family. The only real reason I ever returned was for my meetings, a ward activity, or for a date. Those were the sole reasons I found to return for a month. January showed slight improvement. I went to Salina once a week, often a Thursday-Saturday situation. The February brought on a dramatic regression. I spent much more time in Salina than in Saratoga Springs, almost as much time as in December. I was helping on the farm and spending time with family, etc, but I was not where I should have been. Toward the end of February I reached the conclusion that I really need to stay in or near Saratoga Springs for whatever reason the Lord may have for bringing me here.
So for three months I spent time with and helped family; I was busy enough. This month has provided a new, interesting challenge, that of keeping myself occupied and busy with something productive and useful. Sadly, I gave way to laziness and idleness. I've grown fat, so to speak, on the labors of hard-working, tax-paying fellow Americans. I've stayed home, stymied by the fact that I have yet to be called onto some construction job. I've spent more than a healthy amount of time watching or listening to television. My passiveness was occasionally interrupted by a church function or a conversation with a friend on facebook.
I did begin personal exercise some 10 days ago. This was incredible. I loved getting out and doing something, slightly early in the morning. However, I still fell back into the comfort of passivity soon thereafter. Last week I began volunteering at a local elementary school as an aide in a fifth grade classroom. I began to give of my time and talents, even for a short time. I regressed and failed to exercise at all last week.
The end of the week did arrive and I spent a fair amount of time in contemplation and thoughtful pondering. I noticed the decline in my discipline and character that such stifling idleness had introduced. I realized that now more than ever I need to get back to working. This has weighed heavily on my conscience ever since.
Perhaps weightier still was a thought on a previous post, the one where I detailed what I would like in my spouse (please note the "would like" distinction). The list appeared in my mind. That list of high hopes only stayed for but a moment. A moment was all it took for me to realize that though I wanted some great and strong qualities I was not living them myself. I became afraid, afraid that though I may very well now be in the right place at the right time I'm not doing the right things. It hasn't been the lack of a job that's killed many strong and good attributes I used to carry; rather I gave in to the ease of remaining on the couch watching TV and playing games. That sincerely scares me. Few things strike such worry upon me. The well-being of friends and family certainly tops the list. Then, a close second, would be not being ready to meet someone incredible. I've met many people over the last year and a half. Several deserve the utmost respect and admiration. Then I set out and decided that I'd like to marry someone like that. But the lingering question, "am I ready for and worthy of her?" is unsettling.
This has sparked a renewed desire to obtain work and discipline myself back into who I used to be.
Then a new concern rose out of a conversation with Aunt Cris. I won't bore with the details of what we talked about but I will mention her observation/counsel. The guys often need to remember that she will have the final say on many things. Her voice should be the loudest (without ever raising) and her light should be the brightest of the two of them. Not saying that a husband should be weak and second-in-command, but that he should be elogiating her and accentuating her strengths. Therefor, it is vitally important that the guy fit into the woman's life. It's essential that she know he will fit into her life and lifestyle.
This leads me to wonder how I will balance the two ideas of finding someone amazing with similar core values and standards while at the same time making sure she is well aware that I fit into her life and want to be a part of it. Dating is going to take on a whole new perspective.
With all this pondering, thinking, and deciding (some of coming out as negative motivation) I've had to remind myself of some key ideas and scriptures. Both Moroni and Paul pointed out that "perfect love casteth out fear". Okay, no more fear of things, in particular my situation (both social and occupational). Aside from the scriptures teaching of the hope that the Atonement of Christ brings is the one-liner from Moroni 6:8 "But as oft as they repented and sought forgiveness, with real intent, they were forgiven". Noting which sins and transgressions I repeat has filled me with dread from time to time. This scripture restores hope. It returns faith. I feel motivated to get out of bed and resume work and outdoor activity.
"It's a new world, it's a new start
It's alive with the beating of a young heart,
It's a new day, it's a new plan
I've been waiting for you,
Here I am."
-Bryan Adams, Spirit, Stallion of the Cimarron soundtrack

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Happy day!! A copy of The Ensign has arrived! :D

Today I went to the mailbox and was positively elated to find the Ensign inside. I paid for a year subscription last May and this is the second issue that has arrived (I think something is up at the post office because we keep getting some else's mail; my conjecture is that someone else has been enjoying my Ensign. No matter, hopefully they've been uplifted by it). I lack experience and understanding in relationships so this wise counsel today was well received. My words cannot do justice to these articles. Sadly they're not yet posted online or I'd paste a link here to each of the four articles (is it somehow possible I got an early issue??). I'll post a link as soon as one becomes available.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Relationships, part 4

A thought struck me this week as I continued pondering on relationships. Actually, a few did. I'll share a couple.
Firstly, while thinking so deeply about interpersonal relationships, I noted that I've not really set forth nor have I set out what I'm looking for. Quite frankly I almost had no idea which qualities I want in a spouse. I love the counsel to aim high. But the other side is to not limit my opportunities, which comes by setting a bar or a standard. Pardon me for being blunt, but I'll not sell myself short in relationships, especially when it comes to choosing a spouse. Though I may look high and low, far and wide to find one, I will find one. So my bar shall be a little high, but I will not demand perfection or that she "fit the mold". Who am I to demand immediate perfection and not be forgiving or understanding when I am none of those things myself? Or what of the understanding and forgiveness that has been extended to me? Should I make it vain? I should think not. Rather I will be forgiving and understanding of another's past with the hope for the same. So here are a few things I'd like in a companion:
1-wants a temple marriage, as in nothing less will do.
2-will attend the temple with me as regularly as possible
3-will be faithful to me because I'll die before betraying her
4-can tolerate some of my short-comings and willing to counsel me with regard as to the best way to change them
5-strong testimony of Jesus, the Restoration, the priesthood, and the Book of Mormon
6-wants to serve a couple mission later in life
7-appreciative of all styles of music, can find the beauty in them but preferably with a love for motivating, uplifting and inspiring music (not necessarily church music because patriotic music meets said qualifications, truly romantic music can move one to love, etc...)
8-an understanding that I am a child at heart. I like to play with Legos (have for over 20 years now), go to parks TO PLAY on the jungle gym stuff, and animated movies (these also should be uplifting, inspiring or motivating).
9-wants a family and is willing to help me raise one
10-willing to live frugally, without many frills and nice things in life. I'm not one to want an expensive car, huge house with a gigantic lawn, a boat etc.
11-seeks out personal revelation to guide her life
Those qualities are pretty much a must. The following would be considered perks or bonuses if also embodied in the same person:
1-a returned missionary
2-plays piano (I'll work hard to provide one in the home one day)
3-lovely face (note face, not "hot bod" or such non-sense)
4-accepting and expects to receive chivalry
5-enjoys books, fiction and non-fiction, LDS fiction would be nice
Once more I state, I do not demand that she fit these qualifications perfectly or even mostly. Boiled down to the essentials, I want a wife who will be faithful first to the Lord and second to me. Now this is not a want ad either. I accept referals when offered but sometimes I'm slow at contacting them. I do believe that I'm in Saratoga Springs for a reason and that much of my time and attention needs to be devoted here :) there is no congregation near so important nor is there a group of people so important to me right now as this singles ward that I attend.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

My last few posts have expressed my thoughts about and feelings toward relationships. Brother Fisher has left me some worthwhile advice. Thank you. Though we've never met face-to-face you've willingly given some words of counsel worth consideration.
Last week was a traveling week for me. I decided that I had ought to visit several of the schools in Utah to better understand what they offer and where I would like to go. So Tuesday I packed my bags and headed to Cedar City. My tour of Southern Utah University wasn't until Thursday so I took the time to meet up with old friends and to visit Dixie State College in St. George. I've decided that neither is for me.
My travel itinerary included a stop in Salina to see my family and help on the farm in any way I could. The shortest route is to take I-15 from Cedar City and follow it to a short distance from Cove Fort. Near Cove Fort is an interchange with I-70 that goes up through, I believe it's called, Beaver Canyon. Through the canyon the speed limit varies from 65 to 70 MPH. There are certain locations that exhibit a minimum speed as well. This intriged me. I've been through the canyon and seen the sign before, but sometimes I still find it odd to have a minimum speed.