As I have taken time to ponder and think lately more Perhaps the most potent is, "Do I seek a relationship to fulfill my need of being loved and social or do I seek one to help her?" Or better stated, "Do I want a relationship for my own selfish reasons or am I trying to give of myself?" These questions seem to plague me as of late yet I also realize they are potentially faith destroying because they introduce heistancy and doubt. A small amount of hesitancy, which can also be named precaution, is healthy for it causes us to reflect, ponder, and eventually will lead us to some sort of conclusion.
When I answer the questions honestly, often I find that my desires are two-fold, rather than single-sided. I want a constant steady relationship so that I can feel more loved and have some attention (which causes me to wonder if I have a mild case of adult ADD) but also for the chance to be caring and giving and to fulfill another's need of being loved and cherished.
Possibly the worst side of these questions for me is that after fasting, prayer, and temple service I know what I need to do. I still should date around a little more, just for a little while longer. In reflecting on my answer and the answers to the previous questions I feel doubt in my inspired answer. I feel hesitant to act on it. I do have righteous desires and I'm determined to make a new relationship work even better than previous ones. So I ask if the Lord really wants me to wait a little longer. I see doubt setting in.
My unique character once again rises to combat the doubt and fear setting in. I muster up all the faith I can to remain strong in my determined course. The internal struggle continues, but I will win. I shall not stop. I came to win and there's no stopping me this time.
Wow you sound like you debate things like I do... back and forth back and forth huh. Well My only advice is...(if i should give it due to my circumstances) you need a little give and take in a relationship. I only gave in mine, so that is why i am where i am and also I've learned to live more with my heart instead of my mind. For it seems to be right more often.
ReplyDeleteYou should definitely include your own desires as you seek a companion. That’s how people are; we crave companionship and there’s just nothing better than being with a spouse, children, extended family, and friends.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to potential mates, let them handle their own side of things. Sure, you should obtain charity in your heart and seek to help everyone, and you most certainly should love your wife when you have one, but I would think that it’s more important for women to decide whether you are right for them than for you to try to gauge how much good you can do for them. Trust them to know if they want you; if they can’t figure that out, then why would you want to be with them anyway? Your relationship should be mutually beneficial, something that both people want and that both people are willing to work for. Keep it up; when you are married, the long and sometimes painful wait as a single guy will not be important. You’ll have a family, and it will be as good as if you had always been together. What’s even more amazing to me has been how naturally my children have dropped into my family as if they’d always been there. Anyway, keep striving. Someday you’ll have your wife, and with her you’ll have a whole new set of struggles that you can work on together.