My first post

I was reading a blog and felt as though writing my own would be of great benefit to me.
I noticed the feelings that were written and wondered if I could learn to express myself
in the same manner. Strange that I learned to speak Portuguese and learned to be very
expressive in my way of speaking. I learned to say what I felt and say it clearly. All this
I accomplished in but a year, maybe two while I served the Brazilian people. One
of my greatest desires since returning from Brazil was to be able to do the same in English.
Sadly I am like most people and have been stubborn in taking up some form of English
expression. The truth is that I love Portuguese, more than I initially realized. My daily
prayers to God are still done in Portuguese. My study of holy scripture is also in Portuguese.
My random journal entries are written in Portuguese. My thoughts often come through in
Portuguese. I work with Mexicans who speak Spanish and I understand them by cross-
translating from Spanish to Portuguese which I fluently understand. This beloved language
permeates everything. Even in those strange hours when I do not want others to understand
me or I become frustrated, I say it in Portuguese. I feel as though I cannot regain or improve
my English fluency without letting some of this go.
Yet, as much as any addict refuses to let go of their self-inflicted misery, I also wish to retain
Portuguese. I wonder if it really need be that I let go of my new-found language. Could it be
that I don't need to let it go as much as I really need to find a way to make room in my mind
and thought processes for English. Rather than revel in my lack of fluency, I should seek to
improve it through study and faith, just as I did to gain a great deal of fluency and expression
in Portuguese. Study English and the great vocabulary of the highly-educated shall be my course. I am both the pupil and the teacher, yet I shall learn from the Master Teacher, Jesus
Christ through the power of His Holy Spirit. The steps of faith are fulfilled in studying the correct
material knowing that these shall improve my mental lexicon. Faith shall also be satisfied
when I willingly go out on a limb to say something that I may not fully comprehend, but be
willing to learn to understand.
I recently rekindled an old love for reading. These novels are not of particular difficulty being
that the comprehension level is but semi-difficult for an adolescent. I love the adventure, the
thrill and the story. As I read I begin to feel a greater desire to search deeper into the context
and history mentioned in the novel.
Though I have put so little of the usual blips about myself, I put out some thoughts that welled up from deep within. I will expose some of my character and hope that the lack of usual blips will be forgiven. My character I believe to be of greater value than the small information that everybody has. My character nobody else may possess but me. It is the very essence of myself. The other
information is shared by others. Someone else was born on the same day as I (including such
celebrities as Wayne Gretski and Eddi Van Halen). Someone has the same name as I. Someone looks similar to me. But my character is engraved on my soul and no one may themselves share it with me.